About Family Secrets in a Genealogy Collection

If you're considering giving your genealogy collection (all or part) to a repository such as a museum, library, archive, or society, take a moment to consider any so-called family secrets in your files.

As I wrote in my previous post, there may be "secret" family stories not yet ready for prime time, because someone still living could be hurt if the info is made public. I'm not talking about DNA secrets or incidents of historical significance. I mean info dug up during a thorough genealogy research--info that could damage a living person's reputation or cause harm in some other way.

My approach has been to keep the secret but slip the story into my files, to be inherited years in the future by my family heirs. This keeps the story from being entirely lost to the family but also keeps it from being made public for a while. IMHO, my level-headed family heirs can reconsider the situation in the far future and determine next steps.

Donating a collection? Plan ahead

However, what if the secret is in a genealogy collection that will be donated to repository such as an archive, a library, a museum, or a historical or genealogical society? Plan ahead. 

In a Twitter conversation with professional genealogist Melissa Barker (aka The Archive Lady), I learned that the donor and the repository should discuss this in advance and come to an agreement formalized in a deed of gift. That's the legal document in which someone formally transfers ownership of a family-history collection to the repository.

Putting everything in writing ensures that both parties clearly understand what will happen to the secret. Will that info be kept private forever or for a specified period? Will it be made available to in-person researchers or for specific purposes? Should the secret even be included with the donated collection? Discuss and decide before finalizing the donation.

For more about deeds of gift, see this informative page on the Society of American Archivists website.

Reader's comments

Here are excerpts from reader comments on my previous post about secrets. I appreciate that these folks took the time to share their thoughts.

One reader commented: "Consider carefully if you should commit a secret to writing at all. If the secret has the potential to be very harmful, keep it to yourself! Otherwise, write it down and go on with life."

Reader Debi commented, referring to minor family secrets: "I have not written about them (all parties deceased) and assume anyone researching could find the same information for themselves."

Reader Sandy commented: "It's not often that we look forward in this hobby. I suppose these days people are so used to putting things online they're not worried?"

No Heirs for Your Family History? Recap

Ken Thomas, the longtime genealogy columnist for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, suggested I write about what to do if you have no obvious heirs for your family history. 

Based on his suggestion, I wrote a four-part series earlier this month. Here is a quick recap of ideas for how to donate or preserve your family's history for the sake of future generations. 

Background before making decisions

Before you make any final decisions, please read this page from the Society of American Archivists about donating your collection as a whole. Also look at this informative Family Search wiki page about what to do with a genealogy collection. If needed, I urge you to seek professional advice about particularly valuable, quite historic, uniquely specialized, older/archeological, or extremely fragile items in your collection.

Ideas for what to do

In Part 1, I wrote about trying to coordinate your preservation efforts with cousins and other relatives. Someone may be willing to accept all or part of your genealogy collection and keep it safe. In particular, consider how to safeguard some photos and memorabilia of family members without direct descendants--"no cousin left behind." And if you have fine china or silver, offer a place setting or a teaspoon or a teacup to each of your relatives.

In Part 2, I explained the process for identifying potential institutions that might be interested in accepting artifacts and/or possibly some of your genealogy materials. Each institution has its own collection priorities and procedures, so it's important to understand what each museum, library, archive, society, or university is interested in collecting and studying. For more about the actual donation process, see my post here.

In Part 3, I wrote about looking at your collection from the perspective of non-family eyes on your family's history. Neatness counts! Organization is the key, including a written family tree and other documents to help researchers navigate your collection and understand what it contains.

In Part 4, I discussed how to summarize the scope and significance of your family-history collection. Focus on how your ancestors' lives might be of interest to an institution and other researchers. Whether or not you donate any of your materials, do consider offering your family-tree information to an institution. 

Thanks so much to Ken Thomas for suggesting that I cover this very important and very timely topic.

For more about how to plan to keep your genealogy collection safe for the future, please check out my best-selling book, Planning a Future for Your Family's Past. Updated in Sept 2021!