Every family's history includes a personal secret.
Maybe it's a "secret" in the sense that ancestors never spoke of it: someone committed a serious crime in the past, someone had an affair, someone was pregnant before marriage or outside of marriage, someone died of a disease considered shameful at the time...the list goes on and on.
Document but don't disclose?
If the secret could be very hurtful or even damaging to someone still living, I choose not to disclose. I don't say anything in public (info is not posted on family trees, not included in family genealogies, not on my blog, not mentioned in talks).
Instead, I document what I've learned and then leave the explanation in my files.
Why? Although I don't want to hurt someone still living, I also want that discovery to not be lost forever. By keeping it in my files, I'm allowing it to be rediscovered by the relative who will eventually inherit my genealogical materials. (Assuming the relative opens the files and reads the contents!)
It's likely that after a number of years, the secret will no longer be as hurtful or damaging because the people involved will have joined their ancestors, too.
Of course, if a secret has particular historical significance, that's an entirely different matter. Similarly, if the secret involves DNA and "NPE" (not parent expected), that also changes the situation. My ancestors didn't have those kinds of secrets--not that I know of, anyway.
Planning for a future for family history secrets
What happens to a family history secret in the event our genealogical files wind up in an archive, a library, a museum, or some other repository? In other words, the secret and its documentation would be out of family hands, if left within the files.
This is an issue to consider when planning for the future of our genealogical research and materials.
Consider carefully if you should commit a secret to writing at all. If the secret has the potential to be very harmful, keep it to yourself! Otherwise, write it down and go on with life.
ReplyDeleteLiz
Liz, you make a good point. What might happen if this secret is disclosed later? So far, the secrets in my trees are not that dangerous, but it is something to seriously consider. TY for your comment.
DeleteMarian, I like your solution and would adopt it myself for my family histories.
ReplyDeleteWe have a few "minor" secrets in my husband's tree that I discovered during research. I have not written about them (all parties deceased) and assume anyone researching could find the same information for themselves. I've not thought about putting something in a file but that could be a good idea.
ReplyDeleteInteresting question you raise. It's not often that we look forward in this hobby. I suppose these days people are so used to putting things online they're not worried?? Perhaps the 'secrets' will be finding out great-grandad was an awful twitter troll!
ReplyDeleteA lot to think about here -- and some excellent recommendations.
ReplyDelete