Keep Those Cousin Connections Alive!

 

As 2023 winds down, I've been updating my cousin connections. I don't want to lose track of these relatives in the coming years! How I wish I had inherited something like this. My Mom's handwritten 1960ish address book was as close as I got to such a listing, except she didn't explain any relationships.

I maintain a digital document so I can sort alphabetically if I'm looking for a particular set of cousins or if I want to search the entire document for specific words/dates. My notes column lists the exact relationship and any other pertinent details. Don't forget maiden names, nicknames.

My Sis now has a copy of the updated version so she's aware of our cousin connections on both sides of the family tree. We've met many of these cousins in person, but others we've only "met" via email or phone. 

As a new year's resolution, please do yourself and your family a favor and create or update a listing of cousin connections. To make it easy, go ahead and borrow or adapt my format, which is also in my popular genealogy book, Planning a Future for Your Family's Past.

"Cousins" is Amy Johnson Crow's genealogy prompt for week 51 of her #52Ancestors challenge for 2023. 

Back Up Your Cousin Connections Too

The first of every month is backup day--to be sure my genealogy documents, notes, digitized photos, and everything are kept safe in more than one place. LOCKSS: Lots of copies keep stuff safe.

In addition to automated backups to the cloud every day, I have multiple hard drives with backups, just in case. What about backing up my cousin contacts? For that I created a simple cousin connections document.

As shown in the sample at top, my connections format has three columns: (1) name/relationship, maiden name and/or nickname, (2) all contact info, including social media; and (3) notes, such as clarifying who the person is and when I last was in touch. 

This week, after I spoke with one of my cousins, I jotted a note that we had a conversation, and wrote down the update month/day/year.

For my hubby's cousin connection form, I added the email of a cousin I'm now corresponding with about mutual ancestors. Also noted the update month/day/year.

Both forms are now freshly printed and tucked into my address book as well as in a surname file or two. These forms will refresh my memory and will be useful to the next generation after I join my ancestors in the far future.

And both forms are digitally backed up to my hard drives and in the cloud!

-- Tips from my popular genealogy book, Planning a Future for Your Family's Past, available in ebook and soft cover from Amazon US, Amazon UK and Amazon Canada.   Also available in soft cover from the AmericanAncestors.org bookstore and the Newberry Library bookstore!

Thank you to Tamie Dehler, who reported on my book with a glowing review in the July 30th issue of the Tribune-Star, Terre Haute, IN. 

Wish List: Cousin Connections

 

If I could go back in time, I would ask my mother and my father to list the names and addresses of their first and second cousins. Only years after my parents passed away did I discover how extensive their cousin connections really were.  

Cousins? What cousins?

My father never mentioned his Burk cousins, relatives who were actually at his wedding! It took me a decade of research to identify them and find their children, my second cousins. Dad certainly would have been able to rattle off their names, but I never thought to ask until it was too late.

My mother never mentioned her first cousins on the Schwartz side, even though she knew some of them. Using photos and documents, I eventually traced several. I was able to meet one and, happily, get to know a few of my cousins in the next generation.  

For a number of years, I've been doing what I wish my parents had done: Maintaining a list of my cousin connections. One of my goals is to continue this practice, keeping the names and contacts updated and sharing with my relatives.

Write down your cousin connections

Creating a list of cousin contacts will help you and your family (and your heirs) know who's who and how each person is related in the family tree. It's not enough to have a name, address, phone number, and email address in your smartphone contacts. It's really important to explain the relationships. Otherwise, all you have is a list of contacts with no genealogical context.

At top is a sample of my "cousin connections" form. This week, I updated the list for my side of the family tree, and created a new cousin contact list for my husband's side. I'm sharing with immediate family so everyone is on the same page, literally.

Please do your family and future generations a big favor and write down your cousin connections!

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This is one of the tips in my book, Planning a Future for Your Family's Past, a practical (and affordable) guide to passing your genealogy collection and knowledge to the next generation. Please check it out!

Participating in The Genealogy Blog Party, 2021 Goals!

Managing a Growing List of Cousin Connections

Thankfully, genealogy is connecting me with new cousins all the time. Just last week, a distant cousin from the Farkas family got in touch. With so many names from the family tree crowding my memory, I almost didn't remember to connect him with a mutual cousin who had written me months ago (I got her permission first). Once they knew about each other, they had a wonderful discussion about family ties.

This experience made me realize that I need to have all my cousin contacts in one convenient (and completely private) document. So I've set up a personal table of Cousin Connections with three columns, as shown above. I'm listing my cousins in alphabetical order, including the exact relationship along with the name. In the second column, I'm typing as much contact info as I know. The third column is for notes, as the sample shows.

Private means private. When I'm lucky enough to be connected with newfound cousins, I carefully ask permission before handing out any relative's contact info, and I always follow both people's wishes regarding privacy. After all, they're family.

PS: This is my 700th genealogy blog post! So many ancestors, so many cousins, so little time.