If I could go back in time, I would ask my mother and my father to list the names and addresses of their first and second cousins. Only years after my parents passed away did I discover how extensive their cousin connections really were.
Cousins? What cousins?
My father never mentioned his Burk cousins, relatives who were actually at his wedding! It took me a decade of research to identify them and find their children, my second cousins. Dad certainly would have been able to rattle off their names, but I never thought to ask until it was too late.
My mother never mentioned her first cousins on the Schwartz side, even though she knew some of them. Using photos and documents, I eventually traced several. I was able to meet one and, happily, get to know a few of my cousins in the next generation.
For a number of years, I've been doing what I wish my parents had done: Maintaining a list of my cousin connections. One of my goals is to continue this practice, keeping the names and contacts updated and sharing with my relatives.
Write down your cousin connections
Creating a list of cousin contacts will help you and your family (and your heirs) know who's who and how each person is related in the family tree. It's not enough to have a name, address, phone number, and email address in your smartphone contacts. It's really important to explain the relationships. Otherwise, all you have is a list of contacts with no genealogical context.
At top is a sample of my "cousin connections" form. This week, I updated the list for my side of the family tree, and created a new cousin contact list for my husband's side. I'm sharing with immediate family so everyone is on the same page, literally.
Please do your family and future generations a big favor and write down your cousin connections!
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This is one of the tips in my book, Planning a Future for Your Family's Past, a practical (and affordable) guide to passing your genealogy collection and knowledge to the next generation. Please check it out!
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I did this last year, and also distributed it to the family - we are all first cousins, so no explanation is needed. This way we all have contact info for each other. Of course, I have a few extras (distant cousins I have contact with) I need to add... thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteI looked at your form and realized I rarely have any idea of the street address of distant cousins as our contacts have only been through emails. I guess I should start recording address and phone info.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great idea! I only have five first cousins, all on my mother's side and I exchange Christmas cards with all five, but in doing my research, I have discovered many more second cousins and I should create a list like this to include them!
ReplyDeleteThanks to all of you for reading and leaving a comment! My cousin list gives me peace of mind knowing these connections will not be forgotten in the future.
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog. I have a spread sheet that is similar but between name and address Iist family line-I have been using that person grandparent. I have over 70 first cousins and my parents have about that many too. I do have a spread sheet for my dads line and my moms line. Adding a lot of 2nd and 3rd cousins. I do send out a Christmas card to many with a note about my genealogy goals related to their line. .
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