Surname Saturday and Tips for Surname Message Boards

A few months ago, I presented my talk, "Click! Using Boards and Blogs for Genealogy," to the local genealogical society. I highlighted three of the many popular surname message boards available online, including Rootsweb/Ancestry and GenForum. 

2022 update: These boards remain online and are still good places to dig for connections with researchers seeking the same surnames as in your family tree!

Here are my tips for using surname message boards:

• Write a specific, detailed query. List WHO you're looking for, WHERE they were, and WHEN they were there. Some good/better/best examples and suggestions for effective queries are on Rootsweb.
• Always offer to share information--it sets a positive tone and shows that you're willing to give, not just take.
• Keep your contact info up to date. If B had changed her e-mail address after posting to CousinConnect, she would never have been notified of her half-sister's response. So be sure you keep your e-mail address current with any surname message boards you use.
• Search and read the queries before you post. The answer to your question (or a contact for surname research) may already be on the surname message board, so search the queries and read the likeliest ones before you post, either starting a new thread or adding to a thread appropriate to your ancestor.
• Cast your net wide. Use specialized surname and locality message boards as well as the most popular genealogy boards. (Cyndi's List has a few to try.) I've had responses from smaller boards as well as the mega-boards.
• Track your queries. Write down where/when you post, so you can go back to update the post or change your e-mail months or years later. If you learn something significant about an ancestor you're trying to trace through a message board, you can always post a new query with the extra info. Don't plaster the same board with query after query, however.

Wedding Wednesday: Toledo Nuptials for Wood and Slatter

Hubby's grandfather, James Edgar Wood, married hubby's grandmother, Mary Slatter, on September 21, 1898 in Toledo, Ohio (see cert at left).

James Edgar Wood, born in Toledo, was a builder whose carpentry talents I showed off in photos on a Talented Tuesday.

According to her death cert, Mary was born in London to John Slatter and Mary Sheehan. Her 1925 obit says she had three brothers (Harry, John, and Albert Slatter) and a sister (Mrs. James F. Baker). 

2022 update: For more about Mary Slatter and her entire family, see my Slatter ancestor landing page here.

Tuesday Time Travel: 1906, When Isaac and Henrietta Wed

In my continuing series of time-travel posts, today I'm looking at the year in which my paternal grandfather, Isaac Burk, married my maternal grandma, Henrietta Mahler. Their wedding date was June 10, 1906, so their anniversary is just a few days from now.

These photos show them in the mid-1930s, when their four children were grown and gone.

What was life like for them in 1906, when they were married in Henrietta's apartment in New York City? Despite their hopes and dreams, all around them were larger forces causing major challenges for immigrants from Eastern Europe:

• War and peace and pogroms. Teddy Roosevelt was President, and this was the year he won the Nobel Peace Prize for brokering an end to the Russo-Japanese war. But pogroms continued in parts of Eastern Europe controlled by Russia. Isaac and Henrietta's friends and family there would have been affected by these terrible events (which would also have reinforced their decision to make a life in North America).
• Money troubles. New York was a city of super-rich socialites and struggling immigrants like my grandparents. The financial panic of 1907 was just around the corner, which may have been one reason why Isaac was "commuting" back and forth between Montreal and New York in search of work. One of Isaac and Henrietta's four children was born in Montreal (my uncle Sidney Burk). Cousin Lois told me that her grandma Ida and my grandma Henrietta would help each other out with money during the Depression years in New York, which suggests money was an ongoing problem for my grandparents.
• Fear of immigrant labor. Waves of immigration swept over the city and country, and with it, increasing fear that immigrants were stealing jobs from Americans (sound familiar?). Perhaps Isaac felt the effects of this fear when he tried to find work in NYC. Immigration laws were changing . . . and the naturalization rules were tightened in 1906 to require English language knowledge. What was it like to arrive in New York after a week or more at sea? Two years ago, Dick Eastman posted a link to footage of Ellis Island immigrants in 1906, and the three-minute snippet is quite poignant.
• Earthquakes and exposes. San Francisco was devastated by the huge earthquake and fire in April, 1906, news that would have made it to New York before the wedding. Later that same summer, Chile suffered a massive earthquake and fire that killed 20,000. Other news headlines related to exposes such as The Jungle, which prompted new federal regulations that made my grandparents' daily lives safer, such as the Pure Food and Drug Act. When they could afford to buy a newspaper, most likely Isaac and Henrietta read the Jewish Daily Forward published in Yiddish.

52 Weeks of Genealogy: Books (of Parents and Children)

So many books, so little time! This is a shared posting with my hubby, Wally. First up, the books of my childhood and my memories of what was on my parents' bookshelves.

As a preteen, the first two novels I remember plucking off library shelves were: Sands of Mars, by the legendary sci-fi author Arthur C. Clarke; and Landfall the Unknown, a young adult novel by Evelyn Cheesman, an entomologist and prolific writer. 

Why these book titles have stuck with me all these years (when so many really important details have disappeared from my brain), I don't know. Both books deal with exploration and survival, one on Mars and the other on an uninhabited Pacific island. Interesting theme for a genealogy buff searching for ancestors who came to America from far-away homelands!

My father preferred newspapers (reading 2-4 a day on his one-hour commute to and from Manhattan) but my mother was an avid reader of books. When I was young, she'd fly through paperback mysteries of Erle Stanley Gardner, among others. After we girls were grown and gone, and she was on her own, she acquired a very eclectic collection of books to read and re-read, including The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire and various natural history books. Sometimes she'd dabble in a best-seller to see what the hub-bub was about.

Guest post by my hubby, Wally:

Starting around age 12, I got hooked on the Hardy Boys (see earlier post). In addition, Earth Abides by George R. Stewart impressed me when I read it as a 16-year-old. Earth is being swept by a disease (something like the 1918-9 flu pandemic), which kills 98% of the population. The story is the reestablishment of civilization, seen through the eyes of a man who survived and returns to the now-deserted city of San Francisco. What impressed me was how he and others managed to live among the remains of a society where the people had vanished but many man-made parts of the world still continued (food sits on store shelves, books are in the library, etc).

Rereading this 1949 best-seller as an adult, I was struck by Stewart's basically positive view of human nature. Although most post-apocalyptic novels portray a world where life is nasty, brutish, and short, Earth Abides portrays a world in which humans establish a new, positive civilization and culture on the ruins of the old.

My father didn't read books (just newspapers and magazines). But once a week in the summer, my mother and I (and probably my siblings) would walk to the nearest branch of the public library in Cleveland Heights, Ohio, where we'd all borrow a stack of books. The only book I remember my mother buying was The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. I also read it as a teenager when it first came out, and was dazzled by the hero. Rereading it as an adult, however, I found it preposterous and problematic.

Wisdom Wednesday: Ancestor Hunting on Gen Blogs

When Dan Lynch first released his book Google Your Family Tree, which I highly recommend, he made a presentation to my local genealogical society. The minute I got back from his talk, I turned on my computer and put a few of his ideas to work--and quickly found a blog comment written by my long-lost first cousin, who I hadn't seen in decades!

As time went on, I developed a few useful tricks to supplement Dan's suggestions, tips I've shared in my own presentations to local genealogical societies. For example:

• Search blogs only. To search only blogs and only on genealogy, start at the Google home page. Enter your surname, add the word "AND," then enter the word "genealogy." Next, move your mouse along the menu at the top of the page until you see the drop down menu under the word "more" (as shown in this screen shot). Click on "blogs" and then click to start your search.

•  Use quotation marks around full names. When searching for a specific ancestor, search for the full name in "First Middle Last" order (typing "Thomas Haskell Wood" in the search box, with quotation marks as shown) as well as in "Last, First Middle" order (typing "Wood, Thomas Haskell" in the search box, with quotation marks). And don't just try "First Middle Wood"--also search possible variations like "First Middle Woods" and "Woods, First Middle." 

• Browse for surname genealogy blogs. Look at the lists of blogs on Genealogy Blog Finder and GeneaBloggers. You just might find one or more genealogy blogs devoted to the surnames you're researching.

• Include a search box on your blog. Make it easy for people to find surnames on your blog by including a search box, as I did at top right, just below the blog name/description.

Happy ancestor hunting!

52 Weeks of Genealogy: Secrets (What to Reveal and When?)

Spoiler: If you're looking for deep, dark secrets from my family's past, you won't find them here. Building trust with distant or newly-found relatives is hard enough without blabbing any "secrets" all over the Internet. But I do want to talk about how we, as genealogists, handle family secrets that might be painful or embarrassing to others.

From my vantage point here in the 21st century, it's no big deal that a child of the Depression was born 6 months after his parents' wedding (although both parents took the "secret" to their graves, carefully avoiding any discussion of their exact anniversary date). And it's hard to know whether a long-dead ancestor staved off bankruptcy by arranging a theft to collect insurance money. The situation can be interpreted in different ways by different people, and no one with direct knowledge is still alive to say.

What about the ancestor who died in an insane asylum? Early in the 20th century, chronically ill people were sometimes cared for in asylums because long-term care facilities simply didn't exist. This ancestor was in the asylum for at least 5 years, according to Census and death records, and may have had a heart condition or some other illness rather than a mental problem. Another ancestor died in a poor house, but I don't know any other details of how he came to be there and for how long, or why he wasn't taken in by a sibling who lived less than 200 miles away.

I want to respect the privacy and dignity of family members and yet, I want to tell the truth about my family's history. It's impossible to understand or explain what ancestors did if I don't know their circumstances. We genealogists are always speculating about the "why" of our family's movements and decisions. Knowing the real story can reveal a lot about the reasons behind an ancestor's actions and help us "walk a mile" in his or her shoes.

So here's my plan: I'm telling the true stories, as I know them, to selected family members who can be discreet, and leaving notes in the files. The genealogist of the next generation or the generation after can decide what to reveal and when. Use this knowledge wisely!

Tuesday Time Travel: 1885, the year Great-Grandpa Came to Manhattan

Meyer E. Mahler, my paternal great-grandfather, arrived at Castle Garden (shown above) in New York City in about 1885 (or as early as 1883). Born in Latvia in 1861, Mahler was already married to Tillie Jacobs Mahler and the father of 2 children when he came to America. He sent for his family (including his mother-in-law) just a few years later.

What was the world like when great-grandpa started his new life in the new world? I reread the wonderful Time and Again novel by Jack Finney, which takes place (partly) in the NYC of 1882, for a taste of the ordinary person's day.

• He was part of a huge influx. The decade of the 1880s brought massive waves of immigration from Eastern Europe, in particular. Meyer was one of many Jews who flocked to America (especially New York) seeking work, as well as to avoid conscription and deadly persecution. Meyer didn't speak English when he arrived, but he said he could speak (not read or write) by the time of the 1900 Census. Not a problem: Many people in the tenements spoke his native language and his children (even the two born in Latvia) learned English very quickly in public school; they must have served as interpreters for their parents on many occasions.
• The big city was getting bigger and busier. The Brooklyn Bridge (above) was only 2 years old when Meyer arrived, a triumph of engineering. A year after Meyer arrived, the Statue of Liberty would be dedicated. Elevated railways (with steam locomotives) were being expanded in Manhattan, but underground subways were still years in the future. Meyer and his family almost certainly walked everywhere, dodging horse-drawn conveyances (and detritus) all the way. It was noisy, dirty, and crowded. But he was his own man, and his family had new opportunities not available in the old country.
• Tenement life was tough. In the early years, great-grandpa and his family lived in Lower East Side tenement apartments (later moving to 105th Street in Manhattan, a much better neighborhood). Until the turn of the century, many tenements had outhouses, and electricity and gas were almost luxuries.
• Inventions? So what? Meyer was too poor (and too early) for the phonograph, the telephone, the automobile, Coca-Cola. Radio wasn't even a thought experiment yet. If he was lucky, he had an ice box and replenished the ice regularly. But one invention important to Meyer and family was the photograph. Like many immigrants, he had family portraits made for a few special occasions.
• Long, hard work week. Meyer was a tailor and most likely worked six days a week in a small sweatshop, possibly in the front room of a tenement flat, cutting and sewing by daylight when available and candlelight when necessary. Sewing machines were available, and he probably knew how to use one (but didn't own his own, at least at first). My cousin Lois inherited his tailoring tools, including his fabric shears! During the 1880s, the US labor movement gained momentum as workers fought for better conditions. Although Meyer would have known about unionization, he was unlikely to have been a union member, at least in the early years.
• Meyer wanted to live in a major city. Meyer saw New York as a place where he could practice his religion and be sure his children married within the faith. His oldest son (born in Latvia) never married but his oldest daughter (also born in Latvia) married in 1906, and she was my grandma. Just four years later, Meyer died of cancer. His widow Tillie outlived him by more than 40 years.

For more about this family, see my ancestor landing page here. (2022 update)

Military Monday: A WWII Officer Answers Mom's Note

On Memorial Day, my thoughts turn to family members who've served our country in the military. Looking for a photo to scan and post, I chanced across this letter written to my mother (the then-unmarried Daisy Schwartz) on April 17, 1945. 

The writer, Major A. Schn___(illegible), showed a return address of Northington General Hospital in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Although the hospital no longer exists, it was a major war-time medical center specializing in plastic surgery. 

I don't know whether AS was recuperating or on staff, but he clearly knew Mom from an office job she had during the war. This is the only letter AS ever wrote her (if there were others, they haven't survived), but it speaks volumes about his longing for an end to the war and his knowledge that my mother hoped to settle down and marry some day soon. She was 25 at the time AS wrote, and her first date with Dad (Harold Burk) was still six months in the future.

Here's what Major AS wrote:

Dear Daisy,

What a pleasant surprise it was to read your most welcome note at the end of your boss' letter. And to learn that you still like me made the outlook in this war-torn world much brighter for me. Now wouldn't these words sound swell if they came from a single, unattached fellow? Trouble is there are too many men off to war, and the rest haven't been lucky enough to meet you yet. Perhaps at your new job there'll be plenty of eligible men around to recognize your charm. Then you'll need a bat to keep them in line.

     So you're really going to leave Charlie Phillips? He'll surely miss you, I know, and the office just won't be the same. But you must know what you're doing. So good luck! Let me know where you locate and what happens to you. Maybe I'll find your Prince Charming for you and I won't know where to send him.

     Best regards to you, Charlie, and Freddie. Here's hoping you have a swell vacation. Take a rest for me too. 

     Cordially,  AS

Wordless Wednesday: Photos Put Me in the Mood for Genealogy

Researching the world in which my ancestors lived, I'm writing a series of "Tuesday Time Travel" posts. Next week's post will be about the 1880s, when my great-grandparents came to New York.

This led me to reread Jack Finney's classic novel, Time and Again. If you have ancestors who lived in New York City in the 1880s, you'll enjoy this work because it evokes the period (1882) and the place (lower Manhattan). A number of photos and sketches illustrate the main character's time-traveling adventures, including some well-known views of Central Park more than 125 years ago.

I've also been browsing period photos from the NY Public Library, including this one of Grand Central Depot. The library's digital gallery has many thousands of photos, not just of New York. Definitely worth a look to get a feel for what the world was like for our ancestors, wordlessly.

Tuesday Time Travel: 1919, when Daisy Schwartz was born

Daisy and Dorothy Schwartz, my mother and her twin sister, were born on December 4, 1919. This photo shows them with their older brother Fred and their mother, Hermina Farkas Schwartz, in 1923.

The photo was most likely taken in front of P.S. 62 on Fox Street in the Bronx, across the street from the apartment at 651 Fox St, where my mother grew up. Just a few blocks away was Teddy's Dairy, owned and operated by Theodore (Tivadar) Schwartz, Hermina's husband (my grandfather).

This part of the Bronx was NOT Fort Apache at the time. Later, it developed a reputation for violence and crime. However, in 1919, it was an enclave for families, with good schools and neighborhood shopping, plus access to public transportation such as trolleys and subways. The public library was in easy walking distance ("a twice-weekly jaunt we made in the summer time," my aunt Dorothy remembered in a 1984 letter). 

What was the world like when Daisy and Dorothy were born? Think pandemic, patriotism, prohibition, and more.

• The pandemic was over but parents worried. Millions of people worldwide were killed by the 1918 flu pandemic, which by spring of 1919 was no longer the terrible threat it had been. Still, parents were afraid for the health of their children, especially in crowded NYC areas such as the Bronx, where all kinds of contagious diseases might spread quickly. No wonder Mom made sure that her children got vaccinations for everything.
• Patriotism! The Great War was over and homecoming ceremonies abounded. WWI had ended in 1918 but parades, memorials, statues, etc were commonplace in New York City as most troops returned home in 1919.The League of Nations was formed. Patriotism was in the air, and immigrants such as my grandparents were excited about and proud of their adopted nation.
• Prohibition?! The 18th Amendment to the Constitution outlawed alcohol but especially in New York City, this didn't seem to stop many people from drinking. Although my family wasn't big on alcohol in any case, widespread disregard for this law of the land influenced how people regarded "authority" when my mother was a child. She once told me, matter-of-factly, how NYC political party bosses routinely canvassed neighborhoods with offers of coal or something else in exchange for votes. Nobody batted an eye at these shenanigans.
• Skyscrapers were a NYC wonder. The race was on to build taller buildings in Manhattan, where real estate prices were sky high. The Woolworth Building, finished in 1913, was a marvel and President Wilson personally pressed the button to turn on its new electric lights. Before Mom graduated high school, many of the most famous buildings in the world had opened in NYC (the Empire State Building, for instance, opened when she was about to enter high school). Later, my mother worked in the Chanin Building, one of the iconic skyscrapers built when she was a child.
• Vote! My grandmother and mother always emphasized the importance of voting, which makes sense, since the 19th Amendment passed in 1919 and was ratified in 1920. Grandma was an independent lady anyway, working alongside her husband in the dairy store while bringing up three children. Daisy absorbed those values and exercised her right to vote. Me, too.

52 Weeks of Genealogy: Commercials (Winky-Dink!)

The entire Winky-Dink show was a commercial! Remember? It was the early days of TV and on our little black/white console we could get channels 2-13 from New York City (thanks to the big antennae on top of the Empire State Building). Winky-Dink was on CBS, channel 2.

I still remember my parents' frustration that we twins would take our crayons and write on the TV screen to help Winky-Dink get out of a tight spot by drawing a bridge or some such. They ultimately bought us some cheapy version of the product so we wouldn't ruin the TV. I bet they heaved a sigh of relief when the show finally, finally went off the air in 1957.

Speaking of TV, because my father was a travel agent with a desk at the Savoy Plaza Hotel across from the famous Plaza Hotel at 57th Street, he got various freebies, including tickets to TV shows that aired from New York City. My twin and I saw Howdy-Doody live (I remember the "kid wrangler" was a bit testy since we studio audience kids were rowdy). Also we were in the audience of the local Wonderama show, starring Sonny Fox.

We saw Ed Sullivan live at least once, but sadly never when the Beatles were the guest stars. Sometimes rock groups would stay at the Savoy Plaza or nearby Hampshire House and Dad would bring us home a 45 rpm record (not autographed) given to him by the manager of Gerry and the Pacemakers, for example. He looked like a hero to his teenaged twin girls!

Growing up, we thought going to see a TV show was just something all NYC kids did.

Treasure Chest Thursday: Siblings in Ungvar, 1915

I've been trying to learn more about the siblings of my maternal grandfather, Tivadar/Tivador (Theodore) Schwartz, born in Ungvar, Hungary (Uzhhorod in Ukraine today, see map).

In 2011, I knew Teddy was one of at least five children. In 2022, I now know he had more siblings. See the ancestor landing page for more info here.

The postcard photo at left is a treasure, unearthed in a box of newly-discovered family photos and documents. It shows Teddy's two sisters, Etel and Paula (back left and seated, right) and others, unknown, from the Schwartz family. It's dated August 15, 1915 and inscribed to Tivadar, my grandfather.

Clearly the young man is in uniform, but I don't know what country he's serving.* 

*Thanks to Greta Koehl, whose husband identified the uniform as Austro-Hungarian. Yes! This link shows such uniforms and hats. Another confirming detail. Thank you!

Wordless Wednesday: Ibolyka Schwartz in Folk Costume

Here's a newly-discovered photo of Ibolyka Schwartz--my first cousin once removed, daughter of my great-aunt Paula Schwartz. 

The handwritten name at bottom looks like it was added by my grandfather, Theodore (Tivador/Tivadar) Schwartz.

I wrote about Ibolyka (Violet) and her mother earlier this year, including a photo of Ibolyka as a child in 1930 in Ungvar (which was then part of Czechoslovakia but earlier and later, part of Hungary. Today, Ungvar is in Ukraine.)

This photo is undated, but she's wearing (I believe) a Hungarian folk costume and looks to be a teenager. Here's a translation of the Hungarian inscription on the back, with my thanks to John Kemeny for his assistance (see below for a scan of the original inscription): 

For Uncle Tivadar and family, memorabilia.
Respectful handkisses,    

                                                Ibolyka

This postcard was probably sent between 1938 and 1940, given Ibolyka's age and the internal political situation in Ungvar at the time. Within a few years of writing this post, I discovered that Ibolyka had survived the Holocaust but her mother and many of her aunts and uncles were killed. - 2022 update.

Tuesday Time Travel: 1909, When Marian McClure Was Born

This is the first in a series of "time travel" entries, looking at what was going on when/where my ancestors were born or at other significant points in their lives.

This entry is about my late mother-in-law, Marian Jane McClure, born in 1909 in Cleveland, Ohio. Here she is in May, 1955, with husband Edgar James Wood. Marian made the ceramic bird pin she's wearing. *Update in 2022: In the 1950 US Census, Marian and her husband Ed were living at 1142 Cleveland Hts Blvd in Cleveland Hts, Ohio, and his occupation was claims adjustor, casualty insurance company.

I know from the Census that in 1910, Marian was living with mother (Floyda Mabel Steiner McClure) and father (Brice Larimer McClure) at 567 E. 115 Street in Cleveland, Ohio. This was a quiet residential neighborhood with modest homes, off of St. Clair Ave, a major street. Her father, an expert machinist, worked as a wire weaver, making wire cloth.

Here are some of the influences on Marian's world in the Cleveland of 1909:

• Exploration was all the rage. Shackleton thought he'd arrived at the South Pole in early 1909 but he was actually nearly 100 miles away when he turned back. Peary and Cook were vying to "discover" the North Pole. Such travels of exploration captured the public imagination during the years leading up to WWI. Marian would have picked up some of these tales of undaunted courage. Her granddaughter is very interested in Shackleton, as it happens!
• Everyday life was changing. The Cleveland Electric Illuminating Company was wiring many neighborhoods. Even if Marian's home wasn't wired when she was born, it would be very shortly. Radio was the coming thing (Marconi shared the Nobel Prize in 1909); Marian would have grown up with radio programs in the background all her life. Air flight was in its infancy, but as an adult, Marian liked ocean-liner trips with her husband, Edgar. 
• No car? No problem. The interurban light rail system and streetcar networks were well-established ways to get around in Cleveland and beyond. Marian and her family could pay a few pennies to hop on a streetcar and visit friends and relatives. Her father, Brice, probably rode the streetcar to his job as a wire weaver. Cars were still expensive and rare, and not really needed (yet).
• City girl. With a population of more than 500,000, Cleveland was the 6th-largest U.S. city and by far the largest in the entire state. The Industrial Exposition of 1909 attracted more than 200,000 visitors, who were impressed with Cleveland's manufacturing might. Although Cleveland was spread out, residential neighborhoods like Marian's were only a few streets away from small shops (drugstores, bakeries, grocery stores, etc.) Marian lived in Cleveland most of her life. By the time she left Cleveland to move closer to grandchildren, the city's pollution had been mostly cleaned up and the Cuyahoga River no longer caught fire as it had many times before, starting in 1868.

Military Monday: What Dad Did in the War, 1942-1945

Second from left in the front row is Harold Burk, my father. He enlisted on March 7, 1942 at Camp Upton, NY. Maybe this is his basic training photo?

Dad served in the Army's 3163rd Signal Service Company, as a teletype operator and then as a personnel clerk, rising to the rank of Technician, 5th grade (insignia at right) by the time of his discharge in October, 1945. In all, he served for 3 years, 6 months, and 28 days.

The pinnacle of his advancement was becoming a sgt, but he didn't hold that post for long (see earlier blog post about his story about that experience).

Dad's military paperwork shows that he served in Central Europe and Rhineland (red/blue insignia above left), leaving for Europe in November, 1944 and returning to the US in July, 1945. At left are three photos of him, marked "Paris, April, 1945."

He received a "European-African-Middle Eastern Service Medal" as well as a good conduct medal. Sadly, I don't have either of his decorations, and he told precious few stories of his time in the service.

After his service was over, Dad didn't waste any time looking for the right gal to marry. Three weeks after his discharge, he met Mom (Daisy Schwartz) and kissed her on the first date, according to a letter she wrote to her best friend. By New Year's Day, 1946, they were engaged, and because of the severe post-war housing shortage, they didn't get married until November, 1946. My father wooed my mother endlessly during that time, sending her cards and letters when separated, many of which she saved for decades (and passed along to her daughters). He was 10 years older than my mother and eager to make up for lost time by settling down right away!