Be a Good Ancestor and Share Your Own Story

Photo books are one way of sharing your story now.

Are you taking the time to tell your own story? Be a good ancestor and share your own story so future generations will have a sense of what your life has been like.

My choice: photo books

I began to systematically document my life and family experiences in 2007, when I made the first of what became an annual series of photo books. My goal was to capture some of the most significant or fun things that happened during the year, so I could look back and rekindle those memories. But I also realized that photo books look polished and can be passed down for decades to come.

Every year since, I've created at least one photo book of what my husband and I and our family did during the previous 12 months. I call the book something like "Our life in photos" or "2023 in photos." I caption every photo. If there's a large group photo or two, I include full names once in the book. At top, a photo of many of the photo books I've made over the years, displayed on a book shelf for easy access.

When we have a big family gathering of relatives from far and near, I often make a photo book to remember the fun and the food and the activities. This is where my family and I get those photos off our phones and into print or albums to browse again and again.

My system: I set up a digital folder at the start of every year and put photos into it as the weeks go on. By December, I have dozens of photos to arrange into a colorful book of memories. Not everything makes the final cut, but I have a good range of photos to use. This works for me, but do whatever works for you.

Of course I wait for sales and coupons before I press the buy button. My vendors of choice are Shutterfly, MixBook, and Snapfish, thanks to their quality and customization possibilities.

Your life, your way

There are so many ways to document your life so you can enjoy the memories and share with those who come after. Here are just a few ideas to start.

Well-known genealogy blogger Randy Seaver regularly blogs about his weekly activities. He stresses that family historians should make a point of telling their own stories, not just the stories of ancestors from the past. 

If you or your family like to send an annual Christmas or holiday letter, that's a good way to talk about the ups/downs of the year and include a photo or three. 

My husband writes a monthly letter to younger relatives, with highlights of what he's been doing and stories of interest. He sends his letters the old-school way, because he likes to include a photo and because snail mail doesn't get lost in a sea of emails.

Some folks have a private Facebook page or website for sharing family photos and memories. Since I'm unhappy with FB at the moment, I'm not going down that path but I do know people who have multigenerational FB pages to share family news, old and new.

Just do it

Experiment to see what works best for you and your situation and your budget. Don't worry about capturing every moment and every memory. Be a good ancestor and make 2025 the year you share key photos and memories with family today and keep your life stories available for descendants of tomorrow.

Family Historian: Reach Out for Photo Identification!

As family historian, I want to identify key family photos so relatives and future generations will know who's who (and, ideally, where/when/why each photo was taken).

Usually, I have some idea about the faces and places, maybe even approximate dates. Just to be sure, I like to reach out to cousins for help with photo identification.

Photos with a lot of people require a bit of preparation so everybody is on the same page when making identifications. Above, a small section of the 54-person Farkas Family Tree portrait taken on a family Thanksgiving.

Using the "preview" function on my Mac, I added a number for every face. Then I sent the numbered-faces photo to my wonderful maternal cousin B, who quickly sent me back a list of names, according to number. She was delighted to share what she knew, and I'm grateful that descendants will now know the names of everyone in this big holiday portrait.

Thanks to my cousin's assistance, I'm about to send a three-part .pdf file to more Farkas cousins: (1) numbered-face portrait, (2) numbered listing of names, (3) unnumbered portrait.

Maybe this will provoke comments about the identifications or additional family memories?! UPDATE: After one round of identification, a cousin said he suspected one of the children was misidentified. Sure enough, another cousin agreed and I issued a "corrected" version of the file to all. Otherwise, I'm afraid future generations would have accepted the original misidentification.

PS: Sis and I collaborated on our ID of ourselves. She is the smiling, adorable little hula twin in #7 and I'm the just as cute hula twin in #8. Maybe some cousin will be able to distinguish between the two boy twins in the photo, #1 (in the arms of his smiling Farkas grandma) and his twin brother, who was being held by his father (not visible in this section of the photo).

Do the "Write" Thing for Genealogy: Be Honest, Be Ethical

As family historians, how can we write about ancestors in a way that is both honest and ethical?

After all, every family has a secret or a story that the current generation knows nothing about. Maybe an ancestor hid an early marriage or had some other hidden relationship . . . or committed a crime . . . or behaved in a manner considered, then or now, to be shameful or questionable or downright wicked.

Our genealogy research can turn up things that families never expected would be known. Especially if we want people to share stories and documents with us, I believe we have an obligation to use that information in a responsible way. It's a balancing act between the honesty we genealogists owe to future generations and the ethical responsibility we owe to those living today.

My personal approach is: If disclosing something about an ancestor would be truly harmful to someone living today, I don't write about it, either on my blog or in any "public" family history.

This has been a real issue only once in my 20 years of genealogy research. In that instance, I put the information into my private genealogy files so the story won't be lost forever. This allows me to be honest with future generations and act responsibly by avoiding potential damage today.

My "genealogical will" leaves my files to relatives who will safeguard them for the sake of descendants. Years from now, when these genealogical heirs sift through the files, they can weigh the consequences of disclosure in light of how much time has passed and whether anyone would be harmed if the story is told then, not now.

What do you think? Please share your thoughts on this delicate balancing act.

YOU Are Part of Your Family's History

Remember that YOU, the family's historian, are an integral part of your family's history. As much fun and as rewarding as it is to research the family's past, it's also important to record the family's present-day doings for yourself and for future generations. There are so many ways to do this. Let me share two of my favorites.

Every year, I create one or more photo books showing family gatherings, travels, and other adventures that my hubby Wally and I have had. This has been my tradition for more than a decade. I also make individual photo books for special events like a big birthday or a wedding in the family.

My preference is to capture each year in photos chronologically. I explain where we are and who we're with, including detailed captions so that our descendants will be able to identify family members and friends.

One more tradition, for the past dozen years, is slotting old and new family photos into a calendar to give to close relatives. We designate each person's birthdate on the calendar with a head shot, as well as marking anniversaries with couples' photos. We also remember loved ones who are no longer with us, by including their faces among the calendar photos.

This calendar is so eagerly awaited and treasured that someone from the next generation volunteered to take over the creative duties last year. She decided there wasn't enough room for photos so she chose a larger format for the 2018 calendar and included even more photos of ancestors! Lucky me to have so many hands helping to share the family's past and present.