No Arranged Marriages for the Farkas Sisters in America

 

My maternal grandma, Hermina "Minnie" Farkas (1886-1964), insisted on marrying the man of her choice. She met her future husband (Theodore "Ted" Schwartz, 1887-1965) in a Hungarian delicatessen in New York City's Lower East Side, an immigrant neighborhood packed with tenements and pushcarts. Minnie (born in Hungary) lived on East 6th Street, Ted (also born in Hungary) lived around the corner on Avenue D. Although Minnie's mother thought Ted was a "peasant" and not good enough for her, Minnie found ways to see the man she loved. 

What happened next is legend in my family: Minnie's parents tried to arrange a marriage with a man they considered more suitable. When this man came to the Farkas apartment with an engagement ring, Minnie threw it out the window. Her younger brothers ran downstairs to find the ring. What became of the ring? Nobody knows, but Minnie made her point. Her parents finally accepted her choice. Minnie and Ted were wed at the Clinton Street Synagogue in 1911, a few months after Ted was naturalized.

Where Minnie's sisters met their future husbands

Minnie showed her Farkas sisters that women in America could choose their own husbands. Here's how those young ladies, my great aunts, met their future spouses:

Irene (1896-1988) met farmer's son Milton one summer when she and her mother spent a couple of weeks boarding at his family farm in upstate New York, where they escaped the heat of Manhattan. Irene worked as a bookkeeper and was very much a city girl, but Milton's good looks and charm won her heart. They married in the Bronx and lived for a year or so with Milton's family. They then moved to the Bronx, a greener borough than Manhattan, where their two daughters were born.

Ella (1897-1991) went to college to be a teacher. She met civil engineer Joseph through her friendship with sons of neighbors. The couple married in the Bronx, had a son and a daughter, and the family remained tight-knit and happy until Joe's untimely death. Ella had never stopped working, a rarity among her married sisters, and she taught elementary school until her retirement.

Freda (1898-1989) also was introduced to her future husband Morris through the same neighbor boys who were friends with Ella's fella Joseph. Freda was a librarian when she met and married Morris, an actuary in insurance. They had two sons. During World War II, Freda worked at Grumman Aircraft, the only Rosie the Riveter among the Farkas sisters.

Rose (1901-1993) worked as a stenographer and bookkeeper. She met accountant George at an adult summer camp outside of New York City, and they married in Manhattan. Rose and George had three children. George went back to school for a law degree and opened a successful tax law practice. Rose was one of the matchmaker aunts who later got my mother and my father together on a blind date!

Jeanne (1905-1987) was a bookkeeper for a jeweler in Manhattan and although one of the owners proposed, Jeanne chose Harry, a dentist she met at an adult summer camp. Jeanne and Harry were married at a big wedding during the Depression. The entire family began to have their teeth cared for by Jeanne's hubby.

"Love and marriage" is this week's genealogy prompt from Amy Johnson Crow's #52Ancestors series.

NaGenWriMo Family History Writing Wrapup

After an entire 30 days of National Genealogy Writing Month, I've completed and posted 70 bite-sized ancestor bios to document family history.

My methodology: begin with one sibling/spouse cohort in each generation on my tree. Then switch to one sibling/spouse cohort in my hubby's tree, and continue up and down the generations, alternating between my tree and hubby's tree. Switching things up kept me fresh and on my toes! 

By now, I've gotten nearly all bios done back to great-grandparents. Not quite all, because my maternal grandma (Hermina Farkas Schwartz) had a LOT of siblings and most were married with children. Where I haven't yet added spouses/children, I'm naming them in the bios as I write. Their names will be remembered long after NaGenWriMo is finished, because I'm posting on multiple genealogy sites. 

LOCKSS - lots of copies keep stuff safe.

Fearless Females: Heirlooms--Grandma's Lavalier

Minnie (Hermina) Farkas may have brought this lavalier from Hungary when she took her long journey to America...but more likely, she received it as a gift from Teddy (Theodore) Schwartz, sometime after they were married in New York City on October 22, 1911.

Grandma and Grandpa both worked to help pay for relatives to come to New York. Minnie and her parents brought her siblings here; Teddy teamed up with his older brother, Samuel (Simon) Schwartz, to bring their youngest sister Mary Schwartz here.

Grandma was far from wealthy, but she left each of her grandchildren a bit of jewelry in her will. I received this gold lavalier and a cocktail ring, both of which remind me of her courage and perseverance. Thank you, Grandma!

52 Weeks of Personal Genealogy: Grandparents' Apartment in the Bronx

Farkas sisters & Hermina's grandson

After years of living in apartments in what is now termed the "South Bronx" but was not then dangerous, just crowded, my maternal grandparents (Hermina Farkas Schwartz and Theodore Schwartz) moved to a more spacious two-bedroom, one bathroom apartment at 600 East 178 Street, just off East Tremont Avenue in the Bronx, NY. Hermina is at left in this photo with three of her sisters and her grandson. Sadly, Hermina died in 1964 and Teddy died in 1965.

When I first became genealogy-crazy (more than a decade ago), I wrote this description of the apartment before the memories faded even more, getting input from my sisters:

The living room furniture was dark, forest green, pale grey, and beige colors. The sofa was horsehair. There was one standing lamp next to the Morris chair that matched the sofa, and at the other end of the room, a "china" cabinet with fine cut crystal pieces that were dispersed among family and friends after Minnie [Grandma] died and the household was broken up because Teddy [Grandpa] was coming to live with Daisy [Mom]. My younger sister remembered an ashtray with a cover that slid closed over it, which Uncle Julius [Farkas] would use for his cigars. The living room also had a 3-foot diameter mirror with etched leaf design along the top edge, and below it was a folding-leaf table that opened to card-table size with curved legs.

My twin sister remembered that in the winter, every radiator in the apartment had a pot of water on it to increase the humidity. The master bedroom had snake plants on the window sill and there was a faint smell of mothballs. The second bedroom had twin beds with a night table between them. In the night table drawer were a few toys Minnie kept for we grandkids.

The kitchen had a white enamel old-fashioned stove, with a wooden match holder nearby and a root "cooler" embedded under the kitchen window. There was a double sink and an ice box, later a fridge. The family usually ate in the kitchen but for company, Minnie opened up the large table from the living room (and we ate in the foyer). We clearly remember a portrait of FDR (Teddy's favorite politician, photo cut from a newspaper article) hanging over the dining table in the foyer.

Also in the foyer was Minnie's treadle sewing machine in a lovely wooden cabinet. We grandkids would play with metal/whalebone stays from corsets, and with thread bobbins, that we found in the machine's drawers.

To get to our grandparents' apartment from our apartment in the northeast Bronx, we had to take two buses or a subway and a bus, then walk a block or two from East Tremont (the business/shopping district) to the apartment building. Early on, the building had nice furniture in the lobby but by the 1960s, the furniture was shabby and then missing altogether.

Although the apartment was a block from what is now the fabled Arthur Avenue district, known for Italian restaurants and food stores, we didn't know about it at the time. We would go to movies on East Tremont sometimes, or window-shop the stores. My mother later tried to write a children's book about children going to their grandparents' apartment and vying to punch the elevator buttons. It was, of course, based on what we kids liked to do, but publishers didn't bite. Wish I had that manuscript today!

Talented Tuesday: Needlework Experts

My mother (Daisy Schwartz Burk) and my younger sister, shown above, were talented with a needle and thread or yarn. Mom did petit point and needlepoint when she was first married, but from an early age she had been crocheting afghans, doilies, etc. She never sewed her own clothes because her mother (my grandmother, Hermina Schwartz), was a proficient seamstress who made the family's clothes for many years--and when my mother was working and earning money, she wanted store-bought apparel, not home-made.

My younger sister embroidered, did needlepoint, crocheted, and was good at many different hand-crafts.

My mother taught us to crochet before we started school (I now quilt as well) and my twin sewed a lot of her clothes during high school and college. Now one niece is an expert crocheter and another loves to embroider. The tradition of needlework continues!

I still have some items embroidered by my grandmother and mother, which I treasure and take care of so the memories and stories of their talents remain alive.