Old Heirlooms May Take New Forms in New Lives

Decades ago, when my grandma Minnie Farkas Schwartz left me a diamond-and-platinum cocktail ring in her will, she included a brief handwritten note that the setting was not to be changed. 

Grandma's wish

It was Grandma's wish that the ring remain as it was when she bequeathed it, for me to enjoy for years and then maybe my descendants to enjoy as well. Looking back, I really wish she had included a story about how she came to have that ring, but she didn't.

I was kind of young at the time, and the ring didn't fit any of my fingers. Plus the ring looked old fashioned to my eyes. It sat in a safe deposit box for a while (remember safe deposit boxes?!).

When I got older, the ring still didn't fit any fingers, and I didn't like the setting. So I brought it to a reputable jeweler, had two of the three small stones removed, and had them set in white gold earrings shaped like stars. 

I wore those beloved earrings for all kinds of special occasions and passed them down to my niece, who wore them for her wedding. I'm hoping she will pass them down to her descendants. 

So parts of this old heirloom ring have new lives and more years ahead, just not in the same form that Grandma envisioned when she made the bequest. I'm glad that the ring lives on (in new forms), with new stories to tell.

My wish

My wish concerns the bedroom set ordered by my newlywed parents when they finally moved into an apartment in the Bronx. I inherited the lovely solid-wood mahogany set, refurbished in 1990, with so many memories attached. Ideally, I wish to pass the furniture down in my line, with stories.

However, the folks who might inherit live thousands of miles away from me and from each other. Also, they have households of their own and tastes of their own. Realistically, one or more descendants might want to take a single piece of furniture each, rather than the entire bedroom set. Or descendants might give away some or all pieces, as they choose. 

It's their decision to do with the bequest as they wish, and whatever they choose to do is really fine with me. The set might survive but as single pieces in different households, and that would be okay. Maybe new stories as well will come out of this bequest. I've told the stories (in printed form, multiple times) so I feel good about the furniture being remembered as having been enjoyed by my parents, Daisy and Harry. 

Curate and plan safeguard family items and history

Looking ahead, I have designated heirs who have said they are willing and able to safeguard many heirlooms, documents, photos, and more. The key items of family history I wish to keep safe will be in the hands of relatives who value their importance to our family's past. 

If I don't make the hard decisions about other items now, some things may end up in the trash or sold for pennies at a flea market. That is NOT my wish, so I'm planning ahead. I've made big progress in curating my collection and finding safe new homes, inside and outside the family, for some things my heirs do not want. I encourage you to curate and plan ahead so the most important wishes do come true.

Keeping Up Connections Between Generations

Two years ago, the wonderful genealogist cousin of my mother's generation handed me a small box. Inside was a favorite piece of jewelry from the past. She had worn this silver pin for many decades, and now she wanted me to have it, along with stories of happy occasions.

Stories make items special

By giving me the pin and telling the stories, she was keeping up the strong connections between the generations. I never met many of the people in her stories, but I knew they were in our shared family tree. They came alive through her stories, which I think about when I wear this flowery pin.

I made a note on the box so that in the years to come, my descendants will be aware of how I came to own this pin and why it's special. 

Wait or give away now?

My cousin made the decision to give away some jewelry now, telling the stories in person as she handed each item to the recipient.

I've done the same with a few pieces of my own jewelry. When I gave a precious ring to a much-loved young lady in the next generation, inside the box was a story. I wrote about how my father gave this ring to my mother after the birth of their twins (my sis and me). The recipient read the story and asked a couple of questions, which I was delighted to answer.

The story will live on into the future, along with the ring, connecting later generations with the lives of ancestors who came before. Giving away the ring and the story now enabled me to reinforce the significance of the jewelry to our family's history.

One item at a time

Of course, not all of my jewelry and heirlooms are going to descendants at this time. But selected items already have new homes with family members, tangible reminders of our ancestral connections. Even relatives who aren't particularly interested in quote genealogy unquote will accept one item and a story!