Friday, February 2, 2018

My Schwartz Ancestors Married for Love

Mary Schwartz and Teddy Schwartz (circa 1909)
My great aunt, Mary Schwartz (1891-1959) and her older brother, my grandpa Tivador "Teddy" Schwartz (1887-1965), both married for love after they came to New York. There were some bumps in the road to matrimony, but both stories (pieced together from family legends and official documents) ended with love winning the day, despite the family's initial feelings.

Teddy Schwartz met his future bride, Hermina (Minnie) Farkas (1886-1964), in a Hungarian deli on the Lower East Side. Both Teddy and Minnie had been born in Hungary and came to New York as young teens.(1) Although Minnie's family objected to the match (they thought he was a "peasant"), she insisted on seeing Teddy, then a clerk for steamship lines and insurance firms. Minnie used a signal (putting something on the clothesline) to let Teddy know that the "coast was clear" to meet.

Meanwhile, Minnie's parents tried to arrange a "more suitable" marriage. Minnie refused and threw the suitor's engagement ring out the window. After she wore her parents down, the couple was married at the Clinton Street Synagogue on Sunday, October 22, 1911. Teddy and Minnie couldn't afford a honeymoon until the late 1940s, when they retired. My grandparents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in 1961.

Teddy's sister Mary Schwartz also married for love. It seems Teddy's Farkas in-laws were arranging a marriage for Mary with one of their cousins. Late in 1913, before any formal engagement, Mary met a handsome furrier, Hungarian-born Edward Wirtschafter (1889-1958). Since he was living on the Lower East Side and she was living in Jewish Harlem but working as a shirtwaist maker, I imagine they met in Manhattan's garment district (or possibly in that Hungarian deli where Teddy and Minnie met?).

Mary and Edward fell in love and within weeks, they decided to elope. On Christmas Eve of 1913, just two days before Mary's 22nd birthday, they went to City Hall and signed all the paperwork. That night, even though they were married, they went back to their own apartments and told no one. At least that's what their daughter told me.

What she didn't tell me (maybe she didn't know) was what happened four days later. On December 28, 1913, Mary and Edward had a second wedding ceremony.(2) This time, they were married by a rabbi. And this time, Mary's older brother Sam Schwartz was one of the witnesses. Possibly my grandfather Teddy was present, as well. But I don't know whether my grandma Minnie was there. She might have been miffed that Mary married a man of her own choosing rather than the Farkas cousin favored by the family. Mary, like Minnie, was determined to marry for love!

This post celebrates the Genealogy Blog Party's February theme of LOVE.

(1) According to City of Dreams by Tyler Anbinder, the Lower East Side neighborhood where Teddy and Minnie lived was a particular enclave of Hungarian Jews in the early 1900s. Teddy was from Ungvar, Hungary, and Minnie from Berehovo, Hungary. No wonder they met in a Hungarian deli.

(2) I only know about the 2d wedding ceremony because I sent for the complete set of marriage documents after learning about their availability through Reclaim the Records. Read all about it here. Well worth the $15 fee to know the full story!

7 comments:

Linda Stufflebean said...

I love your story - not one, but two relatives who married for love. Thanks for sharing.

genealogylizgauffreau said...

I enjoyed your two love stories. I particularly liked the integration of family legend and official documentation.

Anna Matthews said...

I love these stories! I wonder what I would have done if I had grown up in an age, culture or family where arranged marriages were common. Would I have stood up for what I wanted or gone along with my parents? It is kind of amazing that some marriage customs changed so quickly or disappeared. I remember my shock 15 years ago when my father gave me my grandmother's silver flatware, engraved with the initial of her maiden name, and told me it was part of her dowry!

Wendy said...

Oh I just love the signal on the clothesline! I have often wondered about some of my older ancestors, whether they married for love or just convenience.

Nancy said...

And I love her throwing the engagement ring out the window. Those are some fine ancestors you have in the Schwartzes. And thx for the info on Reclaim the Records. I love this month's blog party.

Sandra Williamson said...

I wonder what their parents thought of all this going on and their loss of control over their own children's marriage choices? It must have been hard for them after all they would only have what was best for their children. A wonderful story well told, thanks for sharing.

Marian B. Wood said...

I love the way these comments consider both the young people's perspective and their parents' perspective. Both had real reasons for doing what they did. And as it turned out, the two Schwartz ladies were happy in their marriages. My grandma Minnie had to work hard all her life in her husband's grocery store, which wasn't easy, but she definitely chose a good man.